I have always known that youngsters in their late teens need a lot of guidance, but don't necessarily accept it. I was 18 once and thought I knew it all. So, naturally, I was a little unsure of how Atreya will relate to me when he turns 18.
Couple of revelations happened.
First, children don't just become 18 one day. It's not a magic number that comes up one day. It is actually a point in the continuum of a child's life. My relationship with him is also part of that continuum. So, 18 is not really a milestone except for logistical reasons (driving license, army service, voting etc) and I need not pay any more attention to it.
Second, Atreya is a very special person. We dont spend a lot of time together nowadays. I am busy with Aloka and he with school. I usually talk to him at length when he is in some sort of trouble and what I have to say is usually not very pleasant (such as his tendency to escape difficult situations and his inability to get over unimportant issues). It surprises me that when I talk about such things, he hangs on to every word I speak. He listens with his heart and mind, as if what I am saying is the most important thing in the world.
I have no doubt that many mothers talk like that, with as much conviction and love, but their children consider their lectures nagging or not in sync with their reality (e.g. what does she know about my life).
My words become special because he is the listener. My parenting method becomes successful because he allows me to shape his life. I have the honor of being considered a good mother because I have such a fantastic son.
Couple of revelations happened.
First, children don't just become 18 one day. It's not a magic number that comes up one day. It is actually a point in the continuum of a child's life. My relationship with him is also part of that continuum. So, 18 is not really a milestone except for logistical reasons (driving license, army service, voting etc) and I need not pay any more attention to it.
Second, Atreya is a very special person. We dont spend a lot of time together nowadays. I am busy with Aloka and he with school. I usually talk to him at length when he is in some sort of trouble and what I have to say is usually not very pleasant (such as his tendency to escape difficult situations and his inability to get over unimportant issues). It surprises me that when I talk about such things, he hangs on to every word I speak. He listens with his heart and mind, as if what I am saying is the most important thing in the world.
I have no doubt that many mothers talk like that, with as much conviction and love, but their children consider their lectures nagging or not in sync with their reality (e.g. what does she know about my life).
My words become special because he is the listener. My parenting method becomes successful because he allows me to shape his life. I have the honor of being considered a good mother because I have such a fantastic son.
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