Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Why I Wrote What I Wrote

In the last few days, I have been tempted many times to pull down my previous post (Universe I beseech you). It is a sad post. When I first wrote it, I didn't think anyone would even notice I wrote it, but Atta did and his comment generated more interest (I think).

I don't know what people reading it are thinking, but I hope it's not pity. I didn't write it to generate pity or to even seek understanding. I write because writing makes me happy. When I am feeling happy, writing makes me happier, and when I am sad, like I have been in the last few weeks, writing about it makes it a wee bit bearable by concretizing what seems infinitely unbearable.

The other reason I wrote it and kept it was because I have always wanted my blog to be an  honest account about myself. The only time I have stopped myself from expressing myself honestly is when my emotions of anger and disrespect could have hurt vulnerable people. So, that pained post in a way was necessary to share because it is an integral part of my story and this blog's.

Everyone sees me as a strong woman. And why not? I have faced tough challenges in life and come out a winner. But that doesn't mean I haven't suffered or continue to suffer every now and then. That doesn't mean that having once gotten over a crisis, I live a charmed life now. In fact. I believe I suffer more than usual because I enjoy life more than usual. The higher the mountain, the steeper the fall.

Right now I am there, at the bottom, thoroughly bruised by the fall. I will continue to write as I pick myself up and climb all the way back up, or even higher. Perhaps this journey will generate hope and positivity. That would be my redemption for writing that last post. 


  1. I understand what you write here. My poetry is my way of dealing with my ups and downs. More the downs, more I write and that makes me happy. Strange, isn't it? But that is how it is. I or you don't desire pity but we obviously need to be understood.

    In a way, I see that expressing oneself is the strength of mind that most seek but don't know how to achieve.

    Keep expressing....

  2. Thanks Gautami. You are a kindred soul.