This country

For years I lived here like an outsider. Always floating a little above the surface, like a hovercraft, taking care not to sink my roots. Not bothered too much by anything happening around and not too impressed by anything either. Just not invested emotionally. It was just a place I happened to be in. Not that I wasn’t happy living here, but I attributed my happiness to what was inside my head. This country was incidental. My heart was in my homeland, my India.

Now that I may be leaving this country, I am gripped by a love and gratitude that I denied myself for years. Gratitude for allowing me to be a single woman with a child (now 2 children) living freely and as privately as I wished. For giving me a wonderfully beautiful physical environment, where everything works as expected. For giving me resources to learn new skills and indulge in hobbies. For connecting me to the Soka community that acknowledged and appreciated my struggle and my victories and gave me opportunities to strenthen my faith. For enabling me to live successfully and with dignity. For giving me the confidence to take on new challenges with courage and conviction.

On the verge of leaving it, I finally sink my roots in it and acknowledge it as my second homeland.