I am no feminist. I didn't even know what the word really meant until a few months ago. My association with Jagori gave me access to books and people who are experts in the subject, so I started thinking about the issues of patriarchy and feminism. Now, I constantly watch my own actions, and of others, to identify the underlying deep-rooted beliefs that contribute to this suppression of woman, which I am often not even aware of.
Today I went to a nearby Aanganwadi, a beautiful place nestled in the mountains with a river gurgling by, to spend time with the toddlers in its care. This was my third day being part of this initiative started by Nishtha, a local NGO. I plan to do this regularly, visiting six Aanganwadis every week, one each day. It works for me- I am good for kids and kids are good for me.
As a warm up, their teacher asked the kids to sing a song for their "new mam". And this is the song they sang for me...
Chakki rani, chakki rani
Aatay ko pissayengay
Rotiayan banayengay
Bhaiyya ko khilaangay
Bhaiya parhnay jayengay
Afsar bankar ayengay!
(Water mill, grind the wheat so that I can make rotis, so that my brother can eat them and study and become an officer!)
I can't describe what went through me when I heard the song. I saw these seven lovely little girls (and one boy) singing about how their brothers need to eat, study and become officers. Not themselves, not their sisters, but their brothers! Of course they are too young to understand the song right now, but songs like these show how twisted our culture is. That this song makes no bones about who is really important in a family shows how unquestioned this chain of thought is.
But if this is what we sing, then this is how we will live. I didn't wait and immediately changed the song to...
Chakki rani, chakki rani
Aatay ko pissayengay
Rotiayan banayengay
Behna ko khilaangay
Behna parhnay jayegee
Afsar bankar ayegee!
(Water mill, grind the wheat so that I can make rotis, so that my sister can eat them and study and become an officer!)
Our song echoed in the mountains. It was beautiful.
Today I went to a nearby Aanganwadi, a beautiful place nestled in the mountains with a river gurgling by, to spend time with the toddlers in its care. This was my third day being part of this initiative started by Nishtha, a local NGO. I plan to do this regularly, visiting six Aanganwadis every week, one each day. It works for me- I am good for kids and kids are good for me.
As a warm up, their teacher asked the kids to sing a song for their "new mam". And this is the song they sang for me...
Chakki rani, chakki rani
Aatay ko pissayengay
Rotiayan banayengay
Bhaiyya ko khilaangay
Bhaiya parhnay jayengay
Afsar bankar ayengay!
(Water mill, grind the wheat so that I can make rotis, so that my brother can eat them and study and become an officer!)
I can't describe what went through me when I heard the song. I saw these seven lovely little girls (and one boy) singing about how their brothers need to eat, study and become officers. Not themselves, not their sisters, but their brothers! Of course they are too young to understand the song right now, but songs like these show how twisted our culture is. That this song makes no bones about who is really important in a family shows how unquestioned this chain of thought is.
But if this is what we sing, then this is how we will live. I didn't wait and immediately changed the song to...
Chakki rani, chakki rani
Aatay ko pissayengay
Rotiayan banayengay
Behna ko khilaangay
Behna parhnay jayegee
Afsar bankar ayegee!
(Water mill, grind the wheat so that I can make rotis, so that my sister can eat them and study and become an officer!)
Puja, I'm so glad you wrote about this! I too have begun to question the lyrics to some of my favorite songs and brainstorm ways to make them more gender-sensitive and equal. Also, is there a reason you don't describe yourself as a feminist? I do, but constantly am questioning what that means for me. - Christina
ReplyDeleteChristina, I haven't studied it enough, and haven't reflected upon it enough to call myself a feminist. That's all. Maybe some of my actions and thoughts are not aligned to feminism- it's likely. Once I have it all sorted out, I won't shy from calling myself one. By calling myself one before I have done this would be a disservice to it no?
DeleteKeep it up. It will gradually seep into the system. After all these are long embedded in the life style of our folks. You will be surprised that Himachalis are far more emancipated than others.
DeletePuja, I have stopped listening to the ganpati aarti because of a line which makes blood rush to my ears "baanjhan ko putra dey". It labels a woman based on her fertility status and then goes on to redeem her by giving her a son. Really? we sign these things unconsiously but they really are settling into our DNA and sub-consious and they influence our actions everyday- sometimes overtly and sometimes covertly. I'm glad you changed the lyrics. How about changing them from behena to just plain "bacchan ko khilayange".. for in the process of righting wtongs there is a danger of overcorrecting and going the extreme other way
ReplyDeleteTanuja
Aware of this issue. As I heard Kamla Bhasin say in Satyamev Jayate, the opposite of patriarchy is not matriarchy, but equality. But the pendulum has swung so far in one direction that it must be pushed to the other before equilibrium can be reached, IMO. These kids will not understand the subtle difference between "bhaiyya" and "bachhey", but "behen" is unmistakable.
Delete