Aloka falls asleep within 10 seconds of her head touching the pillow. And she sleeps through the night without turning once, unaware of what's going in the room. My late night phone calls, my noisy games on the tab, my getting in and out of bed to charge my laptop- none of that disturbs her.
Why is it then, I wonder, that she negotiates every night where to sleep, and who to sleep with? Why is it then that she promises her grandmother, while bidding her goodnight grandiously, that she will sleep in her room tomorrow (a tomorrow that never happens)? Why is it then, that she waits up for me with sleep-drunk eyes those extra 10 minutes past her bedtime, as I close up for the night, locking doors and feeding Ana?
By wanting to be in my bed, senseless to the world, my little girl honors this sometimes-absent, often-preoccupied mother. By snuggling in my bed and holding my hand for those precious 10 seconds before she falls asleep, my little girl makes me feel like I am doing OK being her mother.
Who needs any other validation? I am doing OK.
Why is it then, I wonder, that she negotiates every night where to sleep, and who to sleep with? Why is it then that she promises her grandmother, while bidding her goodnight grandiously, that she will sleep in her room tomorrow (a tomorrow that never happens)? Why is it then, that she waits up for me with sleep-drunk eyes those extra 10 minutes past her bedtime, as I close up for the night, locking doors and feeding Ana?
By wanting to be in my bed, senseless to the world, my little girl honors this sometimes-absent, often-preoccupied mother. By snuggling in my bed and holding my hand for those precious 10 seconds before she falls asleep, my little girl makes me feel like I am doing OK being her mother.
Who needs any other validation? I am doing OK.
Action speaks louder than words....lovely post as usual....
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