Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Fan Call!

My mother's iPhone is filled with contacts. Nothing odd about it, except that most of them are first names only. Sometimes there are surnames too, but they are not of much use, believe me. In contrast, my contact list is filled with names like Sanjay Carpenter, Kapil Driver, Irene K Soka, Irene W. KP, Bryan M. HP etc. For those of you who think I overdo it, read on.

Well one morning, mom decides to call the husband of one of her friend's daughter to discuss purchase of fans etc for the house. His first name is Divyasheel, so she searches her phone and comes up with a number for Divyasheel Mahajan. I said his surname is not Mahajan, but she says "Aur kiska hoga? Waise bhi yahan sub log Mahajan hee hotay hain. Yehi hai uska number." Translation: "Who else could it be? In any case, everyone here is called Mahajan. This has to be his number." It sounded strange but this kind of logic is hard to defy by someone who has just moved into this town, so I acquiesced.

Having chosen the number, she hands me the phone to dial because this fan installation is my responsibility. The call was received by a woman, not a man as I had expected. Totally ruffled, as is my habit when things don't go as expected, I handed back the phone to mom, saying "It's a woman! You talk!". Had I been alone, I would have simply disconnected the phone without any explanation- that's how odd I am. 

But oddness runs in our blood- it just takes different forms in different family members. This is the conversation that followed between my mother and Divyasheel. I only heard one side of it, but it was enough to send me into a paroxysm of uncontrolled laughter. Total ROFL. 

Uhh hello is Divyasheel there?
Oh, you are Divyasheel!  I am Dr. Chandrama Anand speaking. 
(At this stage, any reasonable person would have apologized for dialing a wrong number, but my mother's curiosity had been piqued and she had to find out who it was!)
Yes yes, I am fine. How are you?
(After of course making some small talk! )
Ok Divyasheel, where are you?
(Subtle are we?)
Hmm I see, at home. Ok listen, just where do you live?  Dharamshala?
(That didn't work. No time for subtlety anymore!)
Chandigarh? Oh I see! Hmm...I mean, how do we know each other?
(OMG! Let it be mom! After all, you are the one who called her!)
Oh! Dental college. Yes yes now I remember. How are you?
(Ok this is the real small talk, unlike the fake one earlier! )
Yes yes. We will meet sometime when I come to Chandigarh. 
(Yeah right!)
Ok. Now I will go. I had just called, you know. Bye beta! 
(Yes yes you had just called, we know, and by now even she knows, without knowing who you were talking to!)

I can only imagine what the poor girl thought of the entire conversation. Did I mention it was pretty early in the morning, like 7:30 am, when this conversation happened.

How was the rest of your day Divyasheel Mahajan of the Dental College?


  1. Omg....its so hilarious. ....I am so happy that you are with chachiji now and we get to read funny and interesting and hilarious stories and incidents......keep posting. ...

  2. Wonderful......Puja, have you covered the Canasta fiasco yet ?