That Strange Song!

In 1983, when I was 17, I didn't belong to this world. I had a strange song in my heart that came out on paper in the form of disjointed words that meant nothing to anyone but me. I had nothing to say to anyone, not even to myself, because that strange song had taken all my attention inwards and made me speechless. I lived in a different universe. I heard sounds in colors. I saw shapes in sounds. My eyes were unfocused, but I felt everything. I was enchanted by a strange magic that made my world fuzzy and beautiful. I saw no harsh edges. If anyone asked how I felt, I could only move my hands to try to explain the uncontained lightness permeating my whole being. No one understood me and that didn't really bother me. A young man once told me my eyes were like liquid- that was the closest anyone got to the truth. I felt free. I didn't belong to anyone. I didn't own anything. I wasn't aware of my youth or my beauty or my flaws or my strangeness. I was untouched. I flowed without boundaries. I was one with the breeze in my hair.

Today while taking a walk along a quiet path, I stopped with a jolt. I heard the same strange song once again. An uncontained lightness lifted my spirits. The call of a bird suddenly transformed into colors and shapes. I felt free of all memories and unaware of complexities and untouched by pain and one with an incredibly beautiful soft-edged world.

Hello Puja. It's been a long time. You were sorely missed.