For 45 years, I never used the word. Up until 10 years ago, I even flinched when someone used it in a conversation. I prohibited its use in my home. Atreya knew he would be thrown out if he ever used it at home.
The first time he used it in front of me was in Mongolia, when we had just arrived at a freezing mountain resort after spending 7 days in blistering Gobi desert. He begged me to allow him to use it and because I was in a holiday mood, I did. He used it say "It's f***ing cold". Mom was shocked but it was so cold that we all agreed with the sentiment and giggled. The closest I got to using the word was when I made "whuck" a part of my vocabulary, thanks to Tina Fey in 30 rock.
Then, a switch as if got flipped in February this year around the time I was about to leave my job. Suddenly the word became the best, and sometimes the only, way to express a number of emotions in a number of ways. It became a favorite adjective, a noun and a verb too. The floodgates had been opened and never closed after that.
Atreya couldn't be happier with this change in me- he looks at me with a sort of awe and appreciation whenever I use the word. I do take care not to use it in front of Aloka, who is like a sponge and picks up words and expressions from me every day.
For someone who never used it before, wouldn't you agree that it is a f***ing amazing transformation?
(P.S. Sorry mom!)