Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Third Mom!

Before I had started this blog, I used to write down my thoughts and store them in a folder called journal on my laptop. I discovered this piece while looking for old poems in my journal folder yesterday. I added some pictures and here it is, a post on Aloka's third mommy. 

When I first talked to Mallika about the possibility of a baby coming to our house, she grinned from ear to ear- she was almost as gleeful as I was at the idea. Later, I asked her to go to India to help mom with Aloka because I had to be back at work and Aloka's passport was still awaited. Once again, there was not a second thought or even a momentary doubt. She went happily and full of excitement, and spent the entire month of January 2008 with mom and Aloka in freezing Chandigarh.

We soon realized that Mallika knew many baby tricks that mom and I didn’t know about, like applying vicks in a certain way for slight colds and the masterful hand position on the baby's head while bathing. As it turns out, she has looked after about 10 babies in the last 15 years and is quite an expert.

But being an expert is quite different from having endless patience and love for a baby. Mallika surprises me most by her ability to play with Aloka anytime and all the time. Her patience with Aloka when she is fretful and cranky is remarkable. I lose patience and get tired, but not Mallika. She is happy to take over Aloka anytime I ask, and even when I don't ask!

In fact, I have to fight hard to keep Mallika out of my room and away from Aloka- she is always on the lookout for me to lose patience and hand over Aloka to her. It’s a funny game between us. 

Another very funny thing that Mallika does is ask Aloka to identify me. “Aloka, where mummy?” she keeps saying. The little girl looks here and there and by mistake takes a look in my directions also. Immediately Mallika will say “See Puja, she knows who mummy is!” For some sweet reason, Mallika keeps wanting to make me feel important, more important to Aloka than herself. 

In reality, there is no difference in Aloka’s feelings for me or Mallika. She is equally happy with either of us and knows no separation anxiety for one if the other is present.

This sweet baby has not one, not two, but three loving mommies! 


  1. Indeed you are very lucky to have Mallika! This is a touching and generous post :)

    1. Thanks GM- the facts in this story are indeed touching. Goodness is all around us. Acknowledging it is essential for the world to make sense.

  2. Lovely indeed, and all because of the fourth mummy the grandest of all.

  3. Us fourth wali ke baray mein jo kahein woh kum hai!

  4. :) such a sweet post.. And I agree that a grandie is the best mummy!!